Had my first Omakase experience; which cost my date $900 for 2 pax. It was so, so good. I will never forget how rich the uni was, the lobster broth and how fluffy abalone tempura could be
Had my first cat-fished experience twice this year. One had no neck (and no, he isn’t fat) and the other had the audacity to meet me looking so far-fetched from his profile (he still had his jawline in his profile pic)!!!
Had 2 dudes randomly deleting our entire convo on Telegram and un-matching me on apps IN THE MIDST OF A VERY ENGAGING CONVERSATION. Bro???
Had 3 times Stay-home-notice when I have no covid.
Had covid from clubbing after being successfully avoiding it for 2 years.
First time making out with a dude this young in the club, prolly 24 or so.
Got ghosted 251061563 times by dudes randomly in the midst of a really good conversation - no, really, wtf
Papa got admitted into hospital
My close friend got diagnosed with bipolar disorder (BP)
Papa got diagnosed with brain cancer
Shuttling between hospitals visiting papa and my friend
Clients giving trouble at work
Close girlfriend who is constantly late on me for so long, confronting me on why am I avoiding her
Friend’s parents refused to let her take her BP medicine, even though my friend wants to eat her medicine
Sissy got married
Papa refuses to eat medicine
Papa passed away
Friend got better
More ghosting from random ass dudes
Sissy moved out
Had a minor eye op to remove 2 styes and 1 chalazion
Slipped and fell. Multi-fracture on my 5th metatarsal bone and had bone displacement
Travelled out to Phuket in a wheelchair for Company Retreat - all of the above for the first time, in an aircast ( which apparently, is a Singaporean invention!!!)
Bought Bhutan tickets, bought Hokkaido Biz class tickets
More quarrels at home regarding money, helper and assets
Settled administrative papers
More fucked up clients
Birthday was great - no need to wait for a girlfriend that is always late, and then I can’t be angry because it’s my birthday
Me blogging this.
I need this year to end, ASAP.
I am so, so tired. It comes to a point where I don’t mind being taken out of this life - is living supposed to be this difficult though?
All the bad things must end with this year. 2022 shall be the WORSE year of my life and nothing more. I am done with hospital visits and calls. I am done with administrative work.
Are you in love? Or does he just need you, and you like being needed? Are you in love, or are you so tired of lowering the bar you have promised yourself - this is not the ground, it could go lower - as if being in the basement is comfortable enough. Is he good to you, or is he just sometimes good to you and that makes it “kind of count”. How many times have you asked him to change. And how many times has he stayed the same.
How do you vent, this sadness - so much energy to try to breathe properly while crying, yet not having the energy to get out of bed to grab that tissue box that I desperately need.
How do you stop this throbbing feeling in your heart between wanting to wallow in self-pity and also wanting to get your shit together and just be ok?
